Tuesday, 16 July 2019

"Insecurities and Possessiveness"

Today I am finding it very difficult to find the words for the feelings and emotions that I want to express, yet I can not stop myself from giving up on writing this post. So here it ....

I want to start with a question?

Do you have a spouse or are you in a relationship where one of the spouse is so in-secured and or possessive that he/ she won't let you have relationship outside the family???

I guess there are many....

In arranged marriages it is quite possible that you never got the chance to learn about this aspect of your spouse before your marriage, but I guess in love marriages you spend enough time with your partner in knowing them before you take the plunge.

One of the mistakes which most of the couples in love do is that they think I will change him/ her my way or things will change after the marriage. Does it???

I had an arranged marriage and my would be wife came from a very conservative family. 

I would not say I belonged to a progressive thinking family, but yes my parents were I guess open minded. May be that is the reason we never felt that it was inappropriate to have friends of the opposite sex, because we were never told not to speak or make friends with opposite sex. 

For us friend is a friend male or female doesn't matter as long as you know where to draw the line.

All my life I have had friends from both the sexes coming to my house, but that got significantly reduced after my marriage and I guess you all know why???

After few months into marriage my then wife asked me if I ever had a girlfriend before marriage. The answer was NO because I never had one. It does not mean I did not wanted to have one, it was just that the girl I was interested in was not interested in me :)))) 

The other question she asked me after this was a googly, she asked Will you remarry if I die???
Hard one wasn't it??? 

I tried to dodge that one and tried to change the topic, I mean I never thought about it and here she was hell bent on getting the answer, so after thinking for a while I did answer her.

She got me sweared and wanted an honest answer, which I gave her. 

It was YES, why not? 

I guess this was the first hint she threw about how possessive she was which eventually showed its face after few years into marriage. 

As mentioned already that I had friends from both the genders whom I continued meeting outside of house.

Of these one was my female friend whom I had known since we were kids and hence we gelled well. I would go to the extent of saying she is my soulmate. Before you jump to any conclusions read my post >>>"Soulmate"

She did not approved of my keeping any ties with her, may be because she was single (she still is) and I did not take her advise. 

According to my limited knowledge the foundation of a successful and happy marriage are  based on four key things. To know what they are as per me please also read "Marriages are made in HEAVEN"

Image result for hd image of broken mirror
Source: https://asriran.info/lists/b/broken-mirror-reflection-wallpaper/
I did not break my friendship to save my marriage. 

I am not seeking any endorsements from you for the decision I took, but yes one thing I wish to ask you all reading this mail is this... Why should any or both the partner expect that there should be no one else in your respective partners life while dating or after marriage? And by this I am not referring or promoting extra marital affair or adultery. 

What harm in having a platonic friend. Is it that difficult a fact to digest or do you belive that such kind of friendship's do not exist? 

If you are possessive as a partner or are in-secured about your relationship it's time you ask some tough questions to yourself and to each other.

Above all if you find it difficult to trust your partner despite all their assurances which actually may be true, then I guess it will be wise of you to "LET GO" off one of these two, your INSECURITIES or your PARTNER

Not all relationships have Happy endings but each one of us is empowered to make a choice of living a Happy life.

How??? go figure out..

I shared my story as I think there are many out there who either had gone through the same experience or are going as you are reading this.

What did you do or what do you think you want or wanted to do? share your thoughts or ask me if you want to know from my insights.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post is solely mine and the sharing is from my personal experience and is not to be construed as a PROFESSIONAL ADVICE 

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

From My Diary - Choices I made ~ #3

In this series I am sharing the choices I made as far as my professional life goes.

Why I took up my 1st job at the age of 17 is answered in my earlier post  "From My Diary - Choices I made ~ #1 and then why I moved on to my 2nd one and why I left that can be read here >>. "From My Diary - Choices I made ~ #2

The first two jobs is about me as Salaried person.

Here now you will read about my journey of transition from being salaried to becoming Self- employed.

I was brought up in a lower middle class family. No one from my family ever ventured into business, I was the first one to take this path. Naturally every body was worried about me.

I wanted to do something where money was not required as a capital to start something. As it is we did not had enough money, and then asking for help from my parents for business was not something I wanted to do, so I explored my options. I was prepared to do hard work and long hours.

A friend of mine told me about "Life Insurance Corporation of India" (LIC). During those days I was staying at Ambarnath and there was an LIC branch I was aware of. So one day I went there and met Mr. Deepak D Sawant also called as DD by his colleagues and friends.

DD is a very dashing personality and he spoke very enthusiastically about his work and how his agents working under him was doing both professionally and financially. He introduced me to few of them while my meeting with him.

One thing I observed about him was that he was different as compared to all the other Development Officers there. His approach was very professional and he was not trying to push me into anything.

I came back home and went over with all that he spoke. The decision was made and I enrolled myself under his mentor-ship to become an LIC Agent.

I had to undergo IRDAI training for 100 ours in order to get my License to do LIC business.
I completed the training and procured my License. In the meantime DD encouraged me to meet people and talk to them about my new profile and how I could help them in securing family and saving money for various provisions of life.

Before I did that I had made two of the most important principles which I followed, the first one was "I will not ask for business from my family or friends" and the second one was that "I will not do unethical business"

DD believed in learning and hence encouraged his agents to do the same. So I also involved myself in the learning. Usually all the agents preferred agents manual for easy premium calculations but DD made sure that all his agents also learned the basics of calculations manually as prescribed in LIC's agents manual which I call as LIC's bible.

Thus DD was instrumental in incorpoarating in me the habit of working from basics, and I am very grateful for him for this. Even today I start with working at the basics first and then gradually move to the advanced stages.

Within a very short span of time I knew about all of the plans offered by LIC the purpose they were meant for and how it worked.

At LIC I also met one of the most important person who further groomed me at various levels. He was an MBA Finance who also joined LIC like me as an agent under leadership of DD. His name is Krishnan Raman Vedant.

Krishnan and me became very close friends and our friendship has grown stronger with each passing years. He is lot of things for me a great friend, a mentor, a guide, a teacher and an incredibly brilliant and well read individual. With Krishnan it's never a dull moment.

We started our journey in the financial service sector together and are still walking the road together.
It was Krishnan who introduced me to Mutual Funds and shares. He taught me about FD's and NCD's, Bnnds & Debentures.

I owe a lot to these two people whom I met during my course of working with LIC.

You must be wondering what the heck, did he left LIC too :-/

Yes, I did that because it was time to take the next big leap. What that next big leap was and when and why I decided to do it?

You will learn all about it in my next post on this series, till then keep wondering and if you have any questions please feel free to write to me at "nilesharma@gmail.com" I assure you that I will respond to your e-mails within 48 hours

Thank you so much for dropping by and reading my posts.

Stay Happy :)

Friday, 5 July 2019

Taking baby steps in Video making...

Life is all about acquiring new skills and learning.

Keeping up with this philosophy, I recently acquired a new skill, that of making videos using video editor tool.

Although I have been taking photographs and shooting some scenic videos from my travels, but putting them in an album or making a slide show out of them never occurred to me.

But that has changed now.

I have decided to make an album/ slideshow from the travels and compile a video of it and share with you all on my channel "Nilesh Sharma- YouTube"

Yes, I know it may sound silly, but then I acquired this skill only very recently.

I took help from some online tutorials of some fantastic Vloggers on Youtube.

A very special thanks to "Billi 4 You"

His video "Best Video Editing Software for you"really helped me the most :)

I am taking baby steps, one at a time. Mistakes are bound to happen, but so will the new learning. 

With time I will master the art, in the meantime enjoy my kiddish work on display for you all to laugh and have some :)))

Find below my video which I have uploaded very recently, in an attempt to make a presence on new platform which is "Yuotube"for me.

If you want to know more of  this trip , I had also written in detail about it on my blog "River Rafting @ Rishikesh"

Please revert with your feedback and ideas as it will help me greatly.

I look forward for suggestions and support from you all. Thanks for reading,

Happy day :)


Friday, 28 June 2019

Rain 'N' Clouds

View from my Balcony :)

Rains are here and so are the clouds. 
Love to see the clouds hugging the mountains and gliding by swiftly....
as if two lovers disengaging from the warm loving embrace,
with a promise to come again together, because LOVE is in the air :) 
"MONSOON" is my one of the best seasons, 
The other two are WINTER's and SUMMER's :)))

Thursday, 27 June 2019

From My Diary - Choices I made ~ #2

This is the second post on the series "From My Diary - Choices I Made" 

In my earlier post on this series I wrote about my first professional choice. If you haven't read it by now please read "From My Diary - Choices I Made ~ #1

After I resigned from my first job and there after finishing graduation, I was now out looking for a job.

I applied for the post of 'Medical Representative' and got selected as one for a major Pharmaceuticals company named "Torrent Pharmaceuticals Limited"

By the way here is a confession I wish to make,  I never wanted to be an MR (Medical Representative), but here I was starting my work as an MR. Why?

Because the money seemed good, it was a field job, the company was well known and besides image of MR's looked nice. well groomed with Tie and shoes, meeting Doctors, first class travel everything seemed good.

I was always good with communication and people (that is what all said) so getting in tune with my new job profile was not a problem.

The job involved meeting Doctors, reminding them of our existing brands and briefing on new launches, and finally asking them to prescribe my company product.

To ensure that the prescriptions were honored, ensuring the availability of stocks at pharmacy store was also vital.

During the course of job I learned the difference between a General Practitioner (GP) and a Specialists and super Specialists. Up until then, doctor was a doctor. I soon got to know the various kinds of doctors and their relevant degrees and line of specialty.

The two things which I was not very comfortable with were the samples that we used to get and the morning and evening doctors calls.

As it is the homes in Mumbai are not very spacious and in that, to make an extra room for samples was something I did not like.

Also their should be continuity in the flow of  working hours. But then  since most of the doctors would meet only during mornings or evening hours depending upon there convenience or patients, we had no choice but to meet them whenever they allowed us.

Besides these two things I loved my work :)

I guess I was the only person in my company at least, who did the least number of evening calls.

It was over two years now on the job , when one day sometime in August or September 2001 ( I do not remember exact date now) my then Regional Manager (RM) Mr. Himanshu Desai came to work with me.

Mr. Himanshu had a very dashing personality and I remember asking him why he did not go into modelling ;)

Mr. Himanshu was the one who took my final interview during selection process.

He was to meet me at 10:30 am at Mulund station near platform no. 1 indicator. I was there before time but he came only after 11:00 am . After exchanging greetings the first thing he told me was this:
"I have heard lot of things about you and that has not portrayed a very good image of you." 

  • You do not do evenings,
  • Do not meet VIP doctors enough
  • Only do the prescribed 10-12 calls
  • Do time pass with girls, etc

Now what I could have said to all this as some of them was true. Well I always believed in smart working so as required was doing the prescribed number of doctors. VIP's I did not concentrate much was, because according to me they already had reached their saturation of prescribing the number of prescriptions for me. I instead believed in catching hold of new doctors. I used to meet them when no one else went to see them, because of this I not only developed great rapport with them easily but they were the first to prescribe my product first. As far as girls were considered, we had very few females working in this industry then and because of my easy going attitude they found it easy to talk to me. That does not mean I only talked to girls in fact my core group of friends were all males and we still meet as and when we can even to this date.

Anyway with the impression my RM had for me, we went on to work. We did few doctor calls, chemists visit and lot of waiting in between calls.

By the time it was 2:30 pm we manged to do about 10 calls. which included 3 VIP doctor calls

We went for lunch and it was then what he said made my day :)

He said,  "Nilesh I have been working with you today and I saw your style of working. You have great rapport with your doctors, the prescriptions are coming, the stocks is available at the medical store and your equation with your colleagues too is great. I must say I will have to change mu opinion about you"

Before he left for the day he said, Nilesh you work smart and I like the way you work, I want you to be an FM (Field Manger) start preparations for interview this coming March.

Now what do I say to that :)

So did I go for the Field Managers interview???

"NOPE", I did not.

Before it happened, I had already made up my mind to resign from my job.

Now why did I do that??

Well, after working for more than 4 years under someone else, I realized I was not cut out for a job. I did not liked to be answerable to anybody, nor was I interested in chasing  the numbers the so called big targets. I wanted to do my work my way as per my convenience. But above all, the most important thing which inspired and motivated me to resign was this simple logic :
" If I worked  even half of  what I did here for myself, I will end up making more money, and that too with less working hours "

I resigned in the month of October 2001, to venture in to a totally different industry of which I knew nothing except for the fact that I wanted to be a "SELF- EMPLOYED"

The job as an MR at Torrent pharma was good, money was good, company was good too, but yet again I wanted more, and this time too everybody in my circle and knowing advised me against leaving the job. 

My field manager even went to the extend of saying that I could choose to do both, work at your thing as part-time. What if  it did not workout as you think, at least with job financial security is there?

Yes the risk was there, but then I had read and  heard a lot and knew the "Risk of not taking the Risk

Was this next "CHOICE" which I made then was worth the risk I took?

To find out do follow or subscribe for my next blog-post "From My Diary - Choices I Made ~ #3" coming out soon...

What do you think about the choices I made in my this series so far ? Have you made any such choices which led to greater gains or did they ended up giving pain ?

Do write and share with me your story. You may drop a comment or write to me as an email on "nilesharma@gmail.com"

You may also ask me for any guidance and help if you need and feel that I can contribute with. I will be more than happy to help you if I  can ,from my rich and diverse experience.

Happy day :)

Wednesday, 26 June 2019

Book Review: 26 Days 26 Ways for a happier You (Priyanka Nair)

Book Review
Cover Page of the E-Book
Book Name: 26 Days 26 Ways for a happier you (An A to Z guide to Self- Help and Self - Awareness)
Author: Priyanka Nair
Genre: Self help
Pages: 72

The book offers its reader a chance to amend the ways of dealing with self, people, relationships and our emotions.

As the name goes the book offers 26 insights into various aspects of life which affect our mental health, relationships and  above all our self esteem and confidence.

Topics like Acceptance, Letting go, Negativity, Stop Pleasing and many more which often some find difficult to overcome are beautifully dealt with and written about.

The Book not only talks about the issues but also gives practically tried and tested solutions as it comes from Priyanka's (Author) own life experiences.

At several instances Priyanka has very beautifully used idioms and quotes to put her point and perspective across for the readers.

The easy flow of words and simple language makes it a smooth read powered with loads of impact.

I have been through the same set of experiences and learned a lot from my own experience, back then knowledge by way of internet and social media was not within reach of most as can be seen now.

This E- book can be your source of learning and inspiration to avoid the pitfalls and/ or come out of them using Priyanka's Wisdom as a guiding star someone else's Wisdom force.

Why read this book?
Each day brings with it challenges and opportunities, but seldom do all focus only on opportunities. Instead all the attention stays on the hardships and the struggle that each  life comes with. We all have a choice to to design our destiny. I have shared one such in my earlier post "From My Diary- Choices I made ~ #1

This book offers you all the simple key to unlock the gates of opportunities and perspective you never might have thought of. This book comes handy by way of its 26 ways to take charge of your life and design your own destiny the way you always wanted.

About Author:
Priyanka Nair is a full time blogger and a Vlogger now. Before venturing into the world of blogging which according to her is her "Happy Space" she worked with various multinationals for over eight years.

Priyanka battled with depression during her critical illness and it was during those days she got the time to introspect and analyse her life and then decided to take charge of herself and had to take some tough decisions to make amends in her life and come out as a survivor.

From her interactions on people through her blogs Priyanka realzed that their are lot of people who are in the same boat as she once was in, so she actively started sharing her story and this helped people thus contributing towards the betterment of people and society in general.

She got so involved that she got motivated to acquire a skill set in tthe field of Mental awareness that Priyanka is now also pursuing her Doctorate in Pscychology.

To know more and connect with Priyanka choose your preferred medium from any one or all of the below:

Blog: https://priyankaspen.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VirtualSiyahi/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VirtualSiyahi

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual_siyahi/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/priyanka2323

Rush and get in touch NOW with Priyanka Nair to grab your free copy of her e-Book "26 Days 26 Ways for happier you" (limited period offer)

Do read her book and share your feedback and comments with us. If you like it please share and subscribe for more

Happy day :)

Saturday, 15 June 2019

Amazingly Beautiful Skyline

There have been new dimensions which I discovered and am still discovering about my self. "Photography" is one of them. Writing poetry's and blogging being others :)

I am not the type who has a "DSLR" or goes out looking to click pictures every now and then, yet I manage to take some snaps as and when it happens or the nature reveals it to me, and you know what ? they are all amazing and beautiful.

Like this one here, as can be seen below :

One fine evening from my Balcony

One evening as I was standing in my balcony ( yes  having BALCONY is sort of a privilege here in Mumbai), I noticed the change of play in the skyline, and I saw the colors beautifully coming up in the sky. I liked what I saw and the photographer in me immediately reached for my smart phone. I put it on the camera mode and managed to capture this beautiful sight, and as I was capturing the moment, all my senses were filled with a sense of alignment and in my heart of the hearts I was saying "Wow" 

"Insecurities and Possessiveness"

Today I am finding it very difficult to find the words for the feelings and emotions that I want to express, yet I can not stop myself from...